If your wallet has been running on empty for a while, the thought of Valentine’s Day probably sends you into a state of panic. Between roses, chocolates, and those little singing teddy bears, you’re forced to decide between feeding yourself this month and impressing your date. But wait—no one told you about the third option? You’re in luck, my friend. You’ve stumbled across my exhaustively-researched compilation of inventive, inexpensive V-day date ideas!
Wining and Dining
The best place to take your lover out for a treat if you’ve got a few bucks is Dairy Queen. The location on East College Drive has great service, clean bathrooms, and intimate booths. Plus, when you sign up online to be a member of the Blizzard fan club, you’ll get a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for Blizzard treats. I recommend February’s Blizzard of the month: Choco-Cherry Love. It’s widely regarded as the panty-dropper of soft-serve ice cream.
If you’re more the outdoors-y woodsman type, you should know that squirrel meat is a highly underrated delicacy. Or so I’ve heard. You could either dig out your bb gun, or just go for a walk along the side of the road—you’ll find one sooner or later. Keep your eyes peeled for something fresh, though. The weather this year hasn’t been conducive to naturally preserving roadkill. Preparing a squirrel isn’t much different than gutting a fish; just make sure you have a sharp knife. Fry that sucker up in some butter and salt and you’ve got a delicious dinner that you cooked—and caught—yourself!
If you’re really strapped for cash and time there’s always the on-campus dining experience. What can you get from the campus eateries for free? Mustard, honey, sugar, mayonnaise, half & half and cinnamon from Java City; soup crackers from the Grab & Go; fortune cookies from the librarian help desk; and microwave popcorn from the Walt Whitman room (you didn’t hear that from me). You’ll have to get creative here. I suggest a spiced mustard cracker snack.
Adventure Time
The best dates are the ones that are exciting. A situation might be uncomfortable, terrifying, or really stupid, but as long as it’s not boring it can be salvaged. For some high-adrenaline romance, it’s hard to beat a ride on the back of a Grizzly bear. Unfortunately, I don’ think there are any real grizzlies here, so you’ll have to settle for that plastic one on top of Borch’s. Bring a ladder.
One of the benefits of having a Mustang card is getting to ride the Marshall Area Transit (MAT) buses for free. Sure, they take about as much time to get anywhere as it would take to walk, but it’s about the journey, not the destination. Pick a seat near the back with your honey, split your ear buds, put on some Marvin Gaye, and enjoy the tour of Marshall.
If you’re a true daredevil, take your date for a walk around Marshall High School during lunch hour. Dangerous, yes, but highly rewarding when you consider how suave and mature you’ll look compared to the students there.
Low-key Romance
Maybe you’d prefer to use this Valentine’s Day to show your date how much you love them and enjoy being with them. For you, I suggest checking out the free art galleries in Marshall—bonding over a cultural experience is the type of thing that brings couples closer together (I assume). There’s the William Whipple Gallery on campus, the Southwest Minnesota Arts and Humanities Council gallery on East College, the Marshall Area Fine Arts Counil center downtown on North Third, and the Daily Grind downtown, which displays works from local artists.
Family Video on East College Drive has an impressive collection of movies. Browsing through the selection of independent and foreign films is a great way to explore shared interests. Then celebrate the demise of SOPA by going home and downloading the movie you pick.
If all of this seems like way more effort than you bargained for, there’s always the option of giving your date a line like “hey baby, I wrote you a song on my guitar but I don’t think I can play it for you, it’s just too emotional.” I actually had a ex-boyfriend say that to me once. Suffice to say it was not well-received; you’ll definitely have better luck with the squirrel meat.
