Sunday, January 22, 2012

Penis

Sometimes in class I begin to panic that I will shout out a racist or inappropriate comment while someone else is talking. It's similar to my fear of sticking my gum on a historic painting while in an art museum except I can't spit anything out...

maybe i have turrets... or maybe i just need to exercise... only time will tell.


In other news, while doing homework at a coffee shop today the man next to me asked me what I was working on. I turned, he was wearing a nice sweater and was in the proper "older man" age range. I rambled about how it was for my gender and sexuality class and about my major and other things I didn't need to share. He was clearly working on something far more interesting that was up on his computer. I know I should have asked but when I glanced down to the next page of my textbook there was a diagram of a penis. I immediately flipped the page and pretended to be engrossed in my reading.....

so.... no progress there.


Television Romance

Hey, you, in front of me, on the treadmill. Did you purposely skip right past that Adam Sandler movie on the TV, not even pausing to see if it was Billy Gilmore or Happy Madison? Did you do that on purpose to impress me? Because it worked. Right up until you left it on some sports game. Damn.

Friday, January 20, 2012

How great would that be?

I'm pretty sure I had the chance to flirt this evening. Maybe I did? There is a blonde guy who drives the Zamboni at work. Well one of two guys who drives it but he is the only blonde one. He is on my list of people to become better friends with, so this may well work to my advantage. He asked if I was going to college and I was too curt. Maybe he was just being friendly? This is literally the biggest advancement I've made in weeks-ish. Did I blow my chance? I work again next Friday, should I step up my game? The advice blog NEEDS YOUR ADVICE. Also at work I got two Laffy Taffys for free. I can't believe today was a good day.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

A morning dance

Today I was told to dance by a handsome avian-esque suitor. I had no choice but to oblige. He complimented my grooves and undoubtedly undressed me with his eyes. I could feel it. This is the most real action I have ever got. Not sure how to proceed. Already posted on his Facebook.